Monday, February 28, 2011

Art of the day #12

a classic-van Gogh i love this one because i love trees and the moon, but i really like seeing the moon during the day. plus i like van gogh

Friday, February 25, 2011

the dancing mirror

as you all know the story leading up to my mother hating music is a sad one, one she doesn't tell .... Ever. but if you know the story you might know why she doesn't tell it. But you don't know the story, only three people really know the whole story one of whom is dead, one is my mother and last of all is me. she did tell me, once. only once and i was seven. the night it slipped out of her mouth was the night he died and I was "the only person she had left in the world". so there we sat in the middle of the kitchen floor a large tub of double mint chocolate ice cream between us. and it all slipped out between bites of minty goodness and moments of teary sobs she told me everything. it was a lot to be understood at my age. an age where you want everything to be right in the world, your too young to understand that bad things and sometimes even Really Really bad things happen to everybody. but i understood it. perhaps i didn't but i remembered it until i was old enough to understand it. i remember that next day we didn't go to church, we always went to church. So while i wasn't at church for the first time and my mother was in bed with a splintering headache i went and saw the shadow. I walked two blocks and the door wasn't locked and I found the place where tha paint wasn't faded, where the giant mirror had hung for years. it didn't hang there my whole life. but the paint was brighter there and i saw the holes where the beam had been screwed to the wall. and i understood the hardwood floors for the first time. maybe that is when i decided. i don't actually remember if it was that moment or the moment when i was sitting with my long legged grace full mother eating ice cream or if later on it just sorta binged into my brain but it was planted, a seed of idea, a seed of passion for something i knew little about. and from then one whenever i saw a point shoe, or a large mirror or ate double mint ice cream that thought that idea shot up like bamboo until i couldn't contain it. so i decided to do what my mother couldn't even talk about anymore, because her lose was far too great. i didn't blamed her or judge her. i knew her reasons made sense. i also knew what I was going to do might hurt her grately but i knew, little me at the age of almost nine that if this worked it would be the only thing to truly ever heal her. so i would do it, for me, and perhaps even for her. i was going to dance.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Art of the day 11

you just can't go wrong with Monet

forbidden fruit text poem

eating the forbidden fruit
swallowing and inwardly dying
wishing you had read the labels
but it's too late
you must now pay the immense price

Monday, February 21, 2011

Art of the day # 10


Art of the day # 9

Welcome change by paper moth

it's funny but the titles of the paintings i have been finding have explained that day perfectly without me even trying enjoy :D

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Friday, February 18, 2011

Art of the day #7

untitled by Ken Browne
i named it over looming cloud

baby elephants

at the zoo baby elephants are cute, really
but bring one home and youll find out
yes they are really adorable and silly
but they sure know how to pout

they step on your toes
they are crabby and mean
they pick their nose
they throw things and scream

baby elephants get mad
they argue and fight
it feels like they are always sad
and don’t always do what’s right

love is what baby elephants want
sometimes it’s hard to see
through all the crazy stampede
how really truly cute they can be

i love my baby elephants
if they weren't mine i would be envious
yes it does take lots of Patience
but you just have to love there cuteness

text message poetry

Voltage intense pure decibles of sound vibrating every bone and tendion in my being. makeing me feel so alive making the world seem so exciting forcing my heart to sing along and my youthful soul to accompany.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

It's june 17th 2008
riding in a cramped van driving though crowded streets
feeling carsick for the first time i didn't know i could like carsick
The hot humid sea air is hard for my desert lungs to breath but i love that too
i never knew i loved not breathing
like that time we sat on the hard wood benches knees touching
our hands like static electricity sparks flying but not igniting

missing the smell i had never inhaled
longing for that smell, the taste imagining it on my lips
and then finally smelling, inhaling, breathing it all in
it was harder and much much better than an illusion
i never knew i loved coconut

it's crying my heart out and not stopping
the terminal with the large globe on it's floor
i wanted that space for so long, it haunted my sleep
and when i awoke more tears scattered my sheets
for the impossible isn't in dreams
it exists only in life
life where dreams are what you eat and drink and bath in

i didn't know one day could change my life but it did
i didn't know that snakes can make you sigh and fish as well
i didn't know i loved purple until it was too late
but i do it does it is, the perfect fingernail polish shining brightly
almost as brightly as the moon that i always knew i loved

i didn't know that snow could be so crule or romantic
i didn't know i didn't like fur
but it's obvious i don't
i didn't know ne me quitte pas would change it
but it changed it a lot

i didn't know age mattered when i was sitting alone in the sand
but wet and sharp shells killed my leg as and i knew it was true
i didn't know the true value of a dollar untill i had to find one
alone unbroken on the rocks, it nearly always breaks
but you can find it if you want to look hard enough

i never knew i would bless a burned out light
that it would make or break my day
that it would make me confess and process
the first time i saw the flashing lights in my mirror

i never knew i loved the white
untill i didn't taist of it
forever is a long time
i never thought i could accept that
but acceptance is slow and loss is quick
loss is forever acceptance will always alter

i never knew i loved the wind
till it followed me and ran through my hair softly
the way he never did
i never knew i could hate that
but the day he turned cold i would have wished him far away
from my soft pale skin and yellow locks
away but then blow back

i never knew i loved brown
or blue blue blue
i never never knew
i could list what i never knew
it would be long and tall
i never new i loved lists
and that smell and your smell
i never knew how much i loved not breathing

Monday, February 14, 2011

art of the day # 6 happy heart day!

last chance

i've been waiting watching every move you make
studying your face like there is going to be a test on it
watching your lips, your eyes, your hands
until i can read you like a childrens book
but the story never reads the way i want it to
i waited really waited for you to want me
i sat in the ran, planned the halls i walk down
and even dropped hints
not tiny hints like pebbles in a puddle
more like atomic bomb hints
that should be impossible for you to not see
but you either didn't see or ignored all the facts
i waited for you to wake up and realize that you needed me
we could be like fresh rain or a summer sun set
I've measured, your hand would fits perfectly in mine
but you just won't test it out
i've read up on it your lips on mine would be magic
but never-mind, we will never know will we?
i feel like I've been standing holding out my hand and heart to you
but my arms are growing numb and my heart is getting cold\
it's been open to you for too long.
so here is my heart take it or leave it
don't mess with it, don't flirt with it then drop it
either take it or leave it alone
but whatever you do it now
i'm so almost over you
and about to say sorry pal this ship has sailed

I love.......

clean fingernails
boys that say your name a lot
old books
old letters
the number 17
my blog
burring my legs in sand
the smell of baby lotion
laying in my bed and watching the moon out my window
the way your hair floats around you in water
the fact that you can never take good pictures of the moon
monet paintings
almost anything old
gluten free cupcakes
getting flowers
the sea
a fine frenzy
icy water
my family
how many cousins i have
dresses( especially old fashioned or black ones)
old keys
writing in cursive
planting things and watching them grow
the colors black and white
black and white photos
ice cream
getting letters in the mail
fancy names
middle names
and you for reading my blog!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

It's still me

sometimes i look back
how the heck did i get here?
how did i become the girl who i am today
i think about who i used to be and what i used to do
what was the vital forming moments, what were a waist of time
somtimes i miss the old me, sometimes i think i still am the old me
not a whole lot of things have changed, except all the things that have
but really the only difference it the ticking passing time
i still think about when i was..
the little girl who played kitchen for hours on end, digging and excavating for Indian clay in the sandbox, and eating pepperoni straight from the bag.
i'm still the poofy bangs wearing, always pink styin, dresser upper that i used to be. the not afraid of speaking in front of 200 even though I'm only six, I'm the leader don't you dare take control, sipping kool-aid from champagne glasses child. stompin around the garden, ponytail on the side, overall snappin, skinned knee winner, cris cross applesause jumper, teatherball ninja. i still think everything is a story and make life an adventure thinker, the old fashioned is best i was born in the wrong time era believer. still the get a C on every spelling test,and an A on every writing assignment achiever. Still the never chase boy ish, awkward with people my own age but never shy and always smilin. i still think computers and cars are run by magic and to tell me otherwise is a lie thinker. still the go against the crowd, don't like what everybody else loves doer, the push creativity and never take yourself seriously. the flirting with life and you, smiles make the day better, staying up is better than sleepin. i still wish i had a purple plastic purse and some shiny quarters. i still think that people who don't like to read are stupid and kissing in the rain would be the best thing in the world. i still think that dreaming and wishing changes things. i still wonder the woods looking for fairys and still won't close all the bathroom doors if the light is off ..bloody mary..!!
I still sometimes think i'm a wizard, or a princess. i still dream in black and white and have never been asked on a date. i still read until two and sleep in math. Inside me is the girl that cried every night for the sisters i hadn't meet. a girl with a cracked heart that wants to change the world and doesn't know how. who writes everything except that part of my life. I'm still haunted by junior high and doubt myself often. I still have a crush on Arthur and laugh at buster. I'm still the girl who you will never understand but hopefully will still love. i still see art in the whole world around me and who can't read a single note of music. i still have never been to Paris or Australia or Italy and still want to. it makes me happy to know I'm still the same, that it's all still me, that no matter how many wrinkles age me, or how many tragedy's beset me i am and forever will be the old fashioned loving, stumbling, awkward, loving, mistake making, fake it till you make it, kinda girl.

Art of the day #5

The Corn Poppy by Kees van Dongen

Saturday, February 12, 2011

art of the day #4

ok so i couldn't find an artist for this because i just stumbled onto it but i loved it because i have always loved Robin hood, like the Disney movie and it's close to valentines day so romantic is acceptable right? and this kinda fit into both those categories

art of the day #3

van gogh

i love the sea! the sea the sea the sea it rolls and rolls and calls to me, come in it says.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

art of the day #2

Lady of Shalott by John William

ok yes i am most always a more impressionism kinda girl, i love to be able to see the brush strokes. but i hadn't seen this painting until today and something about it was so hauntingly beautiful that it had to be the painting of the day. she has a deep story to tell and that's what made me love it!

I've never but however

There are a whole lot of things in this world we consider wrong
Nobody gets off with a perfect record, that’s just how it is
But some of us have longer lists, with dirtier hands
So is it the things we have or haven’t done that makes us pass or fail this quiz?

I’ve never kissed a boy I didn’t love
I’ve never stolen something I could do without
I’ve never been mean just for fun
I’ve never pushed back when I get shoved
I’ve never slapped somebody who didn’t deserve it
I’ve never shot anybody with a real gun

I’ve never broken a heart
Or stolen one for that, I’ve missed every one of cupids dart
I’ve never made a wish I didn’t want to come true
But I’ve made some that I wouldn’t tell to you
I’ve never said a word I wouldn’t say to my mother
But I’ve said some really mean things about my brother
I’ve never drunk anything I know I shouldn’t
But that doesn’t mean if I wanted to I wouldn’t

Up to this point in my life I’ve never done this
But that just the first 18 of my future many years
But that isn’t saying it wouldn’t bring me bliss
I may yet be the cause of many tears

I have a big heart I would dare to say
And I really just want to be nice
I try really hard to do good every day
It’s not like I plan on doing all bad
In fact it’s not like that at all
I hope that I have never made you mad
But mistakes come all of our ways
But we all must live and learn and grow

So there are a few things I keep on a list
A couple of things I just can’t wait to do
To prove that I do really exist
Nothing cruel or harsh just a little risqué
so just watch for something coming your way

Right Now text message poem

we look ahead and worry what may happen in our lives or anticipate what future happiness may come our way. But the only air that matters is already in your lungs, the only step that counts is the one you are now taking and the only bliss you will find is the joy you are now creating. find the beautiful in today

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

art of the day #1

The Reader Aka Young Woman Reading A Book, a painting by Pierre Auguste Renoir.
AWWW i drool while looking at this! not only do i love the subject matter but each stroke is just breathtaking!

Revolutions tearless cry

the word engulfed my world. it didn't echo down the cobbled streets, shouts for action, No it snuck into my life. slowly at first until it was so thick i could cut it with a knife. revolution. But not loud enough that i could ask questions or speak it aloud. it was the potatoe peels in my soup and the lace cut from my dresses. Revolution, it was in my fathers spending long hours in the study. it was the slow decline of help around the house. REvoLuTiOn, it's shots were the eerie silence that rang in my ears while i laid alone in bed in my freezing, fire unlit. REVOLutiON. it's voice grew louder until that's all i could hear. It was in my mothers worry for missing friends,in my father hiding our keepsakes and the bland colorless dresses I was begged to wear. It was the fake passport with my name on it. REVOLUTION. it wasn't hiding anymore could hear it's calls and shouts i could see it's banner waving high REVOLUTION REVOLUTION REVOLUTION. And behind the shouts and screams I easily faded into a memory. without a single tear shed for me.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

as happy as queens

so in a little corner of one of my favorite places to go... the art center. is a painting ish like thing with a little quote on it. it says- the world is so full of a number of things i think we should all be as happy as kings. this quote is by Robert Louis Stevenson. well considering that i am a girl i changed it to as happy as queens. ever since i read it i can't stop thinking about it. there are soo many things it's in this world that can make us happy, it's just up to us to choose to be happy. thats really all it takes. when i was younger people mostly my mom would tell me that happiness is a choice and i always hated it when she said that. but the older i got the more i knew it was so true. happiness is a choice and we have soo many things to happy but we never will be if we don't choose to be. Attitude is everything pick a good one.

Monday, February 7, 2011

qualifications to be by definition kateish

(kate-ish); To be extremely liked, or loved by kate to the point where she sighs inwardly and has a longing look in her eyes, may include the need to purchase the item at any cost. kateish is often found in antique stores and old shoe boxes full of old things. when applying to clothes kateish often reflects Audry Hepburn,or other vintage classic looks. kateish is demonstrated best in kate's bedroom,where everything is kateish! * notice the rules of kateish do not apply to people, only objects, if that were the case only really old people would be kateish and that is Not so, although old people are very charming.

1. must be old,vintage or antique or amazing enough that the fact that it isn't any of those can be overlooked.
2.must contain at least one of the following , beautiful words, art, old keys, the moon,an amazing history,pearls, or be amazing enough to ignore the fact that it doesn't have any of those
3.may not contain neon colors, cats, the letters lol, gluten, anything made out of rubber, people who don't like to read, math, spelling or batteries ( there are very few exceptions to rule number 3, if i think of any i will let you know.
4. tips and hints
the older the better, almost always... i don't really love things like fossils even though they are really old. also the more romantic in an obscure way the better. ex- phone booths,teacups,ink pens, umbrellas, BOOKS, old keys,LETTERS,old photographs. records,old hats,gloves, jewelry, exc.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Worshiping lace ( a cut and paste word poem)

worshiping lace
hands flashing shine with metal light "flash"
prayer to the beautiful to high polished immanent "flesh"
resonate, inside savage shining cathedral
motivation by viewers watching eyes
murmuring for no reason they're rumbling roar
i conclude that i like quiet simple filled home
bright in spirit and softly saying
someone accessible, beloved
that time's stretch will have done them generous
this is happiness to me
telling someone what i am

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

the world keeps spinning, so cruly so kindly

sorrow so deep that every breath is an earthquake, so painful you can't even see.
And although the world may pity you for a moment it goes on, isn't that terrible, isn't that just the cruelest thing. in the moment you need to cling to the most, when you just need time to cry and scream and eat three jars of nuttella. but the world won't wait for your tantrum, no matter how justified it may be. the world stops for none and so you stand on this moving planet spiraling farther and farther from the moment that you can't seem to let go of. then they judge you. it's been three weeks,six year months, a year or ten,havn't you moved on yet? but pain doesn't follow the time line of clocks calenders or centuries. it's time is kept with the heart that speeds and slows to the emotions inside. the world doesn't stop for you so you are forced to move on, isn't that so nice, isn't that just the kindest thing. that it forces you to live your life. to continue onward, to find new moments with better emotions, forcing you to find some form of happiness or acceptance.