When I was a little girl in primary I remember singing called to serve. I remember realizing that this song was more than the catchy tune, it was about being a missionary! Ifelt something then that kind of stuck I decided then that I wanted to serve a mission. And now like 13 years later I'm prepairing for my mission! Its a possibility that I will get my mission call this Wednesday, that's only 2 days away! And although Im more excited than possibly ever I'm also feeling for the first time something that I haven't yet felt in association with my choice to serve a mission and that is fear! I have been so excited thru this whole process that fear hasn't even crossed my mind. But now I'm a bit more nervous. I think excitement is still the most prevalent emotion but I have been nervous that I won't love where I get called to serve. I know that mission calls are inspired and that they come from the lord, I know in time I will love wherever it is I am called. Im mostly scared it won't be what I think it should be right when I get the called. I have been praying to know that wherever god has in mind for me will feel right away like its right. Because i do know that it will be right! as I have turned to heavenly father with this fear he has helped me in so many ways! So many little things have really added up to help me feel more calm and more at peace. In my interview my stake president asked "will you serve wherever you are called?" i got chills because i knew that i would and that it would be right for me. Then the hymn 'I'll go where you want me to go' came into my mind. I was reminded that this isn't about me! This int for my travel experience or laungage development! The real reason came back to me heart and I remembered why I was even doing this in the first place. This is NOt about me. This is about Jesus Crist and his beautiful gospel! Its about light and truth that can and will be brought to some people somewhere in the world, and
It isn't about where those people are that matters as much as who they are and what they need.
So as my call gets closer, I have a bit more calmness and a prayer In my heart it goes like this
It may not be on the mountain’s height, Or over the stormy sea; It may not be at the battle’s front, My Lord will have need of me; But if by a still, small voice He calls, To paths that I do not know, I’ll answer, dear Lord, with my hand in Thine, I’ll go where You want me to go.
Refrain: I’ll go where You want me to go, dear Lord, O’er mountain, or plain, or sea; I’ll say what You want me to say, dear Lord, I’ll be what You want me to be.
Perhaps today there are loving words Which Jesus would have me speak; There may be now in the paths of sin, Some wand’rer whom I should seek; O Savior, if Thou wilt be my guide, Though dark and rugged the way, My voice shall echo Thy message sweet, I’ll say what You want me to say.
There’s surely somewhere a lowly place, In earth’s harvest fields so white, Where I may labor through life’s short day, For Jesus the Crucified; So trusting my all to Thy tender care, And knowing Thou lovest me, I’ll do Thy will with a heart sincere, I’ll be what You want me to be.